★ Behold: THE BUS ★
'98 4 26
☝ CLICK STUFF IN THE PICTURE!!! ☝
😎 Meet The Crew 😎
The official roster of the Jimmy The Fat tailgate. Collect all 11!!
Climbed on the roof to hook up the power. A swarm of bees chased him off. Sprained ankle.
BEES: 1 • GREG: 0Has been known to break out the guitar after many drinks. Setlist depends on the drink count.
NOW TAKING REQUESTSNickname: VW. Volkswagens owned, lifetime: zero. Also built this web site, so sign the guestbook.
VWs OWNED: 0Reigning, defending and only Pig of the Year in the history of the award.
UNDEFEATEDKnown for running through doors. Not around them. Not with the handle. THROUGH them.
DOORS: ON NOTICEBIO UNDER CONSTRUCTION
TAILGATERBIO UNDER CONSTRUCTION
TAILGATERBIO UNDER CONSTRUCTION
TAILGATERBIO UNDER CONSTRUCTION
TAILGATERBIO UNDER CONSTRUCTION
TAILGATERBIO UNDER CONSTRUCTION
TAILGATERSTEP 1: See a hot girl.
STEP 2: Entire crew yells "KRIM!!!"
STEP 3: Girls on the bus: 0
STEP 4: ...
STEP 5: Crew members now married: ALL OF THEM
Scientists cannot explain step 4.
🏆 The Annual Pig Of The Year Awards 🏆
CHRIS
Held every single year. Exactly one winner in the entire history of the award.
That is why everybody calls him POTY.
| ALL-TIME WINNERS | Chris |
|---|---|
| RUNNERS-UP | n/a |
| LONGEST STREAK | Chris (all of them) |
| NEXT CEREMONY | This season |
| PROJECTED WINNER | Chris |
>> CAST YOUR VOTE!!! <<
🦁 We Are... 🦁
Press the button. Happy Valley will answer.
Chants this session: 0 • 93,967 of our closest friends are yelling with you
🏈 The Crew's Game Day Checklist 🏈
- Friday night: The Crowbar, the Skeller or The Brewery. (Or all three.) Then La Bamba's.
- Pack the leftover La Bamba's burrito. It's breakfast now.
- Leave at 5:00 AM anyway. 322 is already backed up past Potters Mills.
- Wear blue. Wear white. Wear both. NO scarlet and gray (we know who you are).
- Park the bus in the grass lot. Pray it doesn't rain. It rains.
- Raise the flags. Tighten the zip ties. Tighten them again.
- Hook up the electrical. Check the roof for bees FIRST. (Sorry Greg.)
- Prop the bus door OPEN. Puck is coming.
- Fire up the grill by 8. Kickoff is at noon. Kickoff is always at noon.
- Walk over early to catch the Blue Band pregame. Goosebumps guaranteed.
- Count the Nittany Lion's pushups after every score. Out loud.
- Wait for enough drinks. Tommy gets out the guitar.
- Plain uniforms, plain burgers. No names on the jerseys, no names on the burgers.
- Hit the Creamery after the game. Yes, the line is long. Yes, it's worth it.
- Sit in 322 traffic until Tuesday. Talk about 1994 the whole way home.
(click to check stuff off)
🔧 Official Bus Specifications 🔧
| MAKE | School Bus (Retired, Promoted) |
|---|---|
| COLOR | Yellow outside. Blue & White on the inside, where it counts. |
| HOME FIELD | Grass lot, Beaver Stadium. Mud included at no extra charge. |
| SEATING | Couches. They turn into bunk beds. Yes, really. |
| TABLES | 1 (one). Do not ask about a second table. |
| BAR | Full. Fully stocked. Fully used. |
| KITCHEN | Full kitchen. On a bus. In a parking lot. |
| BATHROOM | YES. An actual bathroom. On a bus. You're welcome. |
| DOOR | 1. Currently intact. Puck is aware of it. |
| ELECTRICAL | Hooked up from the roof. Ask Greg about the bees. |
| ROOF DECK | Yes. Capacity: "it's fine." |
| FLAGS | 9 and counting |
| FLAGPOLE | About 30 feet of pipe, zip ties, and pure confidence |
| SATELLITE DISH | Receives 1 channel. It is NOT NASCAR. |
| TENTS | 2 (one of them leaks, nobody knows which until it rains) |
| TOP SPEED | Parked. On 322 after the game, also parked. |
| MPG | We do not talk about the MPG |
| Y2K COMPLIANT? | YES!!! (probably) |
❓ Who Is Jimmy?? (F.A.Q.)
A: The "Jimmy" in Jimmy The Fat comes from NASCAR driver Jimmy Spencer.
Q: So you guys are big Jimmy Spencer fans?
A: No.
Q: NASCAR fans, then?
A: Also no.
Q: Then why is the whole web site named after...
A: NEXT QUESTION.
Q: Why were there never any girls on the bus?
A: Every time we saw a hot girl, we yelled "KRIM!"
Q: And that didn't work?
A: Correct.
Q: But you're all married now?
A: Somehow. Yes. All of us.
Q: Why do you call Alex "VW"?
A: He has never owned a VW.
Q: That doesn't answer the question.
A: NEXT QUESTION.
Q: And the "fat" part?
A: Because Jimmy Spencer was a big guy. We were not mature.
Q: Are you mature now?
A: We are all married. That is the closest we got.
Q: So what do you tell people "fat" means?
A: See below.
fat (fat), adj. 1998 slang.
1. See PHAT. Excellent, righteous, fully loaded.
2. Describing a tailgate with more than one (1) tent.
2b. Describing a 12-0 season (see: 1994).
3. "Dude, that bus is FAT."
Webster's Dictionary defines "fat" as something else, but Webster has never been on the roof deck.
✍ Sign My Guestbook!!! ✍
🔗 The Crew's Cool Links 🔗
- How To Grill In The Rain (Part 1 of 9) NEW
- Bus Parts Wholesale Outlet Warehouse
- The Crowbar (Friday Night HQ)
- 1994 Was Robbed: A Petition (4,812 signatures)
- Beekeeping For Electricians
- How To Beat 322 Traffic (page is blank)
- Nittany Lion Pushup Counter Tracker
- Zip Tie Enthusiasts Discussion Forum
- My Other Home Page (the dog's)